A man in Michigan hoped he’s be able to ‘expel’ six kidney beans from his penis, after sticking them in there for sexual purposes. Unfortunately, things didn’t work out quite as planned.
In a report recently published by Urology Case Reports, which Adam from The Morning After has a subscription to, a 30-year-old man in Michigan jammed six kidney beans into his wiener. Because, apparently, that’s a thing that people do.
His plan was to cast out the beans when he climaxed, but something went wrong. Terribly, terribly wrong.
With the beans stuck in there, the man first attempted to remove them himself with tweezers, which sounds very uncomfortable. Then again, so does having six kidney beans stuck in your dong.
The unnamed man was then forced to take a trip to the emergency room and explain to hospital staff why he had not three, not four, not five, but six kidney beans stuffed in his shaft.
Ultimately, it didn’t matter how they got up there. What really mattered was getting them the hell out of there and, according to the New York Post, the hospital staff was able to do just that. They got one out by numbing the penis and squeezing it out. The others had to be surgically removed in a way that, truthfully, I don’t really feel like describing.
So, what did we learn here? Well, for starters, we learned that six kidney beans is too many to shove into your penis. Outside of that, though, I don’t know if we learned anything.
Just be careful when you’re shoving things into your penis, OK?
